Ratsofrass

Man, I never should have eaten that package of Kraft Dinner, about a month ago. It’s like getting back on drugs man, I’ve eaten two more boxes of the stuff since then! (Okay, not like drugs, but why would I want KD three times in one month after not having it for 5 odd years?)

Perhaps it’s just that KD has been in the news. Today, I see that Kraft Canada has been “cease and desisting” a local teacher trying to teach students how to eat less crap - ie there are alternatives to KD. He called his program “Kick the KD”, with a logo that is certainly evocative of the KD brand. While I have no problem with the company protecting it’s brand, I do have a problem with the media trying to make a story out of nothing. Kraft asks teacher to stop using their brand marks in advertising his course. Teacher complies. This is not a story.
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So there I am at the mall at dinner time looking at the usual mall eateries. I’m not really feeling hungry, so I head over to Walmart, thinking I’ll grab some pasta and sauce and just whip up a quick meal at home. I wander through the frozen section and see this “Donatello’s” Pizza I’ve never heard of before. Hmmm, I could go for a gourmet pizza, what does this one cost? $3. $3?! Must be crap - move on. I find a “gourmet” pizza, on the other end of the frozen Isle (Walmart does some weird product placement). Spinach on a pizza, no thanks - I like my toppings meaty and traditional. Still not seeing anything else I might like for pasta sauce, so I wander back over to the regular frozen pizza. I could buy a Kraft Rising Crust for like $8. But there’s that $3 pizza right beside it… Do I dare? WTF, I’m not feeling like eating anything else, so I might as well go for cheap. It can’t kill me, right? Right?! I pick the pepperoni version (deluxe was also available) drive it home and throw it in the oven for 18 minutes (Preheat first according to the instructions).

So now we get to the fun part - the pizza. It lived up to it’s name “rizin’ crust”. Actually has 4 pieces of Pepperoni per 1/4 pizza. The cheese looks like cheese and seems to be there in a not too skimpy amount. First bite…

Hmmm. Not that bad. (Why yes, I *am* writing this while I’m eating the pizza!) Second bite. Crust is kinda doughy, some crispy on the outside - passable. Cheese is standard for a cheap pizza. Third bite - get a whole piece of peperoni in this time. The peperoni is not that bad, actually has a bit of kick to it - unlike the usual bland crap you see. Forth bite - get the crust edge this time. Perhaps shouldv’e kept it in for a minute more - not quite as crispy as I’d like. Stop writing now to finish off the piece. The tomato sauce is pretty bland, and a little too sweet.

Overall verdict: This pizza is a cut below the standard Mcain or Kraft rising crust, but not that far below. I actually think it’s better than say, a Little Caeser’s (more topping), definitely better than Pizza Hut, which is the worst grease fest pizza ever in my books. For $3, this is a steal of a deal for a 12″ pizza, feeds two hungry people, or one hungry teenager. As always, YMMV. I can’t find a web site for them, although I did find a reference to food poisoning (eep!). You’ll just have to head over to Walmart and get one of these things if you want to try it. If the pizza doesn’t agree with me, I’ll definitely write a follow up, assuming I live.

I got curious about what kind of internet cooking shows might be out there so I fired up You Tube and typed in “cooking shows” in their search. The “Trailer Park Cooking Show” catches my eye so I pull up the vid. Turns out it’s a video response to an urban legend where if you pour cola on pork, worms and maggots will come crawling out. Ooookaay….
I continue watching and quickly suspected that I was looking at a Dame Edna type. But I couldn’t help laughing. Subtle humor is a rare thing these days and this “Cola BBQ Pork Chops” has it in spades.
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I went over to T&T Supermarket last night for some fruit and stopped by the noodle isle. That’s right, you go to an oriental grocery, the noodle selection takes up a whole isle. The store was about to close, so I had to quickly select some cup noodles out of the many for sale. I ended up picking a “Vegetable and Salt noodles” in a green cup that looked good on the picture, but beyond that I had no idea what it would be like.

Today, I decided to try this thing out for lunch. Looking at the bill, I see that I paid $2.89 for this thing. $2.89?! This had better be some damn fine noodle for that money. Looking over the ingredients list I see fried bean curd noodles, cabbage, French fries… French fries? I bought cabbage and French fry noodles for $2.89? Trying to keep an open mind about this, I poured boiling water into the cup up to the line and waited 5 minutes. At least, that’s what I assume I’m supposed to do based on no instructions in English, and a “no microwave” symbol on the cup. Everything is already in the cup, no packets to open and dump in - nice.

You know what? That was some damn fine noodles for $2.89. All I know is the little English label stuck on the clear wrapping called them “Myojo (Sapporo Ichiban vegier sio falvor..” noodles, they come from Japan (unusual these days) and they are in a green container showing the noodles in a bowl with vegetables, surrounded by a bunch of vegetables and potatoes, but no French fries.

Farewell emails in this recession era are one of those things where people have gotten bitten by technology they don’t fully understand. First of all, why, oh why do companies give there employees the ability to send globally in the first place? As a rule of thumb, if you can’t remember the name of every employee in your place of work, this probably should not be allowed. Even so, if you’ve managed to accumulate a large address book list, or have many mailing groups you can send to, you can still hit a lot of people with your bridge burning flame fest, or your eloquent touching ’so long and thanks for all the fish’. Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it to go for the scathing flame thrower email - you never know when that might come back to burn you (ouch!).

Speaking of recession, “What recession?”, I ask. Home Despot is out of stock on battery operated smoke detectors. The smoke detector shortage, according to one Despot worker, is due to landlords buying them all up after a basement suite fire that resulted in deaths to occupants where said equipment may have been lacking. Everyone seems to be fixing there toilet for some reason, I bough out the last flapper valves, and lots of other items are missing. I have no idea why these are out, the Fed tax credit don’t kick in until you hit a thou, (grasping at straws) perhaps there is a rash of toilet thievery going on - I arrived home on Friday night to find my place broken into. Gone was Six DVD sets, toothpaste, and (wait for it) my downstairs bathroom toilet paper. The thief had discerning, er, taste too only going for the good stuff, and leaving the generic backup stuff behind. Even took the roll on the spool. So, perhaps it’s going to the next level and thieves are stealing toilet parts to kick start plumping businesses. Plumper kickbacks anyone?

Coming back to “What recession?” I note that it is also still stupid busy in a lot of restaurants out there. There seems to be so much excess money to burn in Calgary that it’s taking awhile for the current money pile to smolder down to ash before we notice the downturn. I’m hearing rumblings on the work front about opportunities being way thinner now than a year ago, so it’s coming. Frankly, if you have a good stable job a recession is a great time. Line ups in stores disappear. Fancy restaurants always have an open table for you. Staff are actually available to help you in a store. Parking spaces can be had for less than a king’s ransom. You can hire a contractor, this month, not ’sometime next year’. Incompetent idjits get fired from your workplace. So, it’s all good, as long as you have a job.

At least “Swan’s” in Inglewood is still not too busy. One of the few genuine pubs in town that doesn’t try to also be a sports bar on “Flames nights”, so I can actually go there with friends and expect to chat all evening, rather than having to yell over the game volume. Probably my favorite outing place in town right now - good food, good service, fair price, and some of the colorful character you would expect out of Inglewood, so don’t bring the kids. Oh, they know how to pour a Guinness. ’nuff said.

Pub Makes Amends and Proves the Personal Touch can Still be Found in Calgary

Address: 5340 2nd St. SW Calgary

I love management that actually cares about what people think of their establishment. They know that word of mouth can be the kiss of death or the hot inside tip that spreads like wild fire. In these days of blogging, a new twist has been thrown in: managers can comment back on blog entries rather than just hoping for the best with old-style word of mouth.
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Suburban Pub Tries to be all things to all people

Address: 8294 Centre Street NE Calgary (403) 275-6601

A pub located outside of the normal inner city circle, Paddy O’Leary’s is a growing trend in the last few years for some pubs to locate out in suburbia, where it is handy to visit from home rather than from work, which most of the first - generation pubs in Calgary seem to have focused on. Having visited this pub on several occasions, this review is somewhat of a general view from those visits.
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Interesting House converted into a Pub - Ruined by bad Service

Address: 5340 2nd St. SW Calgary

Edit: You may want to check out my newer review, which comes on a re-visit with much better service

A bit tricky to find, this is a house converted into pub located on a back street just east of MacLeod Trail. There is a charming, quiet outdoor area with actual picnic tables. A nice pub decor greets you on the inside. However, this is yet another Calgary establishment that tries to be both a sports bar and a pub. The huge big screen TV in the middle of the main sitting area is just annoying if you don’t care to watch whatever sports event is on at the time. At least they keep the volume down. I would also note that the washroom area could use a bit of cleaning and renovation.

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I remember when Melvin/Bug/Zarq brewed “Hi Honey I’m Drunk” and “Black Hole Brew”. Individually, they had serious flaws (sickly sweet and bitter beer face bitter) but together, they were something fantastical.

Well, I have discovered my own version thereof. My Halloween Brew, mixed 50/50 with my “Dirty Blonde” is actually more pleasant than either on it’s own, especially the DB brew. It comes out mixed with a subtle hop and tinge of lemon, like squeezing a lemon into a Corona and mixing it with a New Castle Brown.

My only problem is, I’m down to my last three bottles of Halloween Brew. Drat!

My current home brew I have just started drinking dubbed “Dirty Blonde” has been a bit of a disappointment.

It comes off with a strong lemon flavor, finishing on a grapefruit note, minimal hop flavor. The left over yeast has a strange “sour yogurt” type of taste, best left behind on the bottom of the bottle.
I started with a Brew Canada kit, adding Munton’s light spray malt to firm up the body. I up the sugar content too, so it’s not like I’m brewing by the instructions here.
I’m going to point the finger at the Brew Canada kit here - the flavor was not as nice out of the can, and the hops had a harsh bitter edge, not much of a floral theme, and not much in terms of malty taste either. I thought the hops was a bit coarse as well, not good for imbibing the beer with flavor.

It’s not like Brew Canada is really cheap either, it is however available in grocery stores. I would just say don’t expect killer beer from these kits, however, it might be just fine if you follow the instructions - but I wasn’t looking for that type of beer anyways - for what I’m trying to do (Belgium style light beer) it didn’t even come close.

The name I picked is apt though - the yeast takes FOREVER to settle out of this one, I find it best to leave a good cm on the bottom to prevent the icky tasting yeast of this one to come out, otherwise, it’s dirty blonde color, rather than a bright blonde. Next time, I’ll try a Munton’s light beer product for a summer beer, it might put out a better flavor than Canadian version.